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A tiny spark of wit for a highly flammable world

Chipping the web: August 18th

August 19th, 2008 7:00:52 am pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Best customer service EVER

August 18th, 2008 3:46:24 pm pst by Sterling Camden

The most generous and hospitable place I’ve ever visited is the island of Capri (which the locals pronounce KAH-pree, with the emphasis on the first syllable).  My lovely wife and I were married there eleven years ago on September 1.  We didn’t really know what we were doing — my wife coordinated everything with the Italian consulate in San Francisco and the US consulate in Naples.  Neither of us spoke much Italian, so she arranged everything through translators whom we did not meet until we arrived in Capri — not knowing whether we would really be able to pull this whole thing off in the two weeks we had in Italy.

We met with a city official and one of our translators, Gloria Isita (a wonderful lady who was a high school English teacher in Naples).  In the official’s presence she explained to us what would occur a week later.  “The mayor will marry you,” she said.

The official interrupted her without looking up from his paperwork, “Oh no — the mayor has not time for this.  A lesser official will conduct the ceremony.”

A week later, after touring Rome, Venice, and Siena, we returned to Capri and entered the historic town hall off the Piazzetta.  There stood the mayor with the green-white-and-red official banner draped from his shoulder to his waist.  He welcomed us as if we were foreign dignitaries, and gave us gifts.  He had even brought flowers for my lovely bride.  He then performed the ceremony with the utmost dignity — in Italian, with our translator giving it to us in English.  Afterwards, I asked our translator if it were customary for us to give something to the mayor — but she told us no, that in fact he would be offended if I offered.  He was very kind and treated us like royalty.

But that wasn’t all.

Gloria had arranged for our witnesses to be two of her English students — a brother and sister who were the children of the Captain of the Port of Capri.  The brother, Giuseppe, showed us all around the island.  Everyone knew him and greeted him.  He took us to see the Blue Grotto — a cave in the side of the island whose entrance is mostly underwater, which renders the cave pitch black inside, but with glowing blue water.  It was a favorite retreat for the emperor Tiberius and his lovers, and is now one of the best known tourist attractions of the island.  Normally, you pay the equivalent of about $40 US each to wait in line to get into small boats to enter the cave.  But when the son of the Captain of the Port calls to one of the boaters, they come right over and take you in ahead of everyone else without asking for even one lira.

But that wasn’t all.

The best service we received on Capri happened the very first night we arrived.  We stayed at the Hotel Caesar Augustus in Anacapri, and for dinner we walked up the hill to a local restaurant.  I wish I could remember the name of it, but it was on the right side of the road among the shops in Anacapri.   We dined al fresco as the sun set.  The owner waited on us himself, and he was very attentive to our needs without getting in the way.

Our daughter, who was only a little over a year old, suddenly filled her diaper.  She had just begun eating adult foods on that trip, and her digestive system was still adjusting.  The stench was unimaginable.  We had walked about a mile to the restaurant, and hadn’t seen any public restrooms along the way.  So I asked the owner if there was any place where we could change her.

“Uno momento,” he said, and immediately disappeared.  A moment later he returned and beckoned us to follow him.  I carried our daughter, and my wife brought the diaper bag.  He led us into the back of the restaurant.  There we saw his wife, holding a crying baby.  The owner motioned to us to use the baby’s stroller as a changing table.  He had made his wife pick up their sleeping child, waking said child, to make room for us to change our daughter.  And he disposed of the dirty diaper for us.

Needless to say, he received a very generous tip.

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Chipping the web: August 18th from 09:45 to 11:12

August 18th, 2008 12:00:31 pm pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Chipping the web: August 15th from 17:31 to 18:06

August 16th, 2008 7:00:09 am pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Chipping the web: August 14th from 17:10 to 17:31

August 15th, 2008 7:00:50 am pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Chipping the web: August 13th through August 14th

August 14th, 2008 3:00:20 pm pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Bucket list

August 13th, 2008 12:58:18 pm pst by Sterling Camden

I’ve never seen the movie The Bucket list, but that didn’t stop Teeni from tagging me for a meme based on its theme.  A character in the movie who is dying of a terminal illness composes the titular list, containing all the things he wants to do before he “kicks the bucket”.  Here’s my version:

  1. Travel more of the world.  My wife and I used to travel to a lot of places together– then came children.
  2. See our children find meaning in their lives.  This is a hard one, because there isn’t much that I can do about it other than to let them know that their lives have meaning to me.
  3. Play with my grandkids.  Another one where I have to rely on my children.  But no hurry, kids!
  4. Write a book.  I love to write, and I love books.  So I should write a book.  Maybe more than one.
  5. Read every book I own.  I’ve read less than half of the several hundred books on my shelves.  Maybe I’ll skip The Three-Legged Hooch Dancer — never mind, I already read that one.
  6. Invent something that lots of people will find useful.
  7. Get to where I don’t need the money.  Then I could work on only the projects that interest me.
  8. Find out what number 8 is.

Now to tag (why these are in eights, I do not know), in no particular order:  Joseph, Haizum, Robert, Danielle, Chad, Morgetron, Joanna, and Randy.

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Chipping the web: August 12th through August 13th

August 13th, 2008 12:00:04 pm pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Chipping the web: August 11th from 11:46 to 16:34

August 11th, 2008 5:00:04 pm pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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Chipping the web: August 7th from 13:38 to 14:53

August 8th, 2008 9:01:08 am pst by Sterling Camden

Chipping the web

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